Introduction

In all of our sufferings, it is not about us at all. Suffering, in its purest form, was designed to help others; to teach them life lessons about not only themselves, but also the power of the potential they possess within them.

We were created for one another. It was designed that way. Suffering is not prejudiced or discerning. No nationality or race, gender, religion or geographic location is immune to its touch. I have discovered that one of the most important reasons of suffering is that it knows no age limit.

Around the age of six or seven, Suffering introduced himself to me personally. He knew my name and stopped by for a visit with my family and me. He only stopped by for a short visit; however, my family was affected for a longtime afterward, by the presence of this unexpected, unwelcome, “houseguest”.

I recall that time, as though it happened yesterday. I remember that my older brother, Ricky was only fourteen and had gone hunting with our cousin of the same age. I remember commotion, confusion and craziness. I remember soul shaking pain and an ache to understand the “why” of what had happened. I remember how my family was beside itself with disbelief, grief and sadness. I remember the guilt and self blame that my cousin felt. I remember the moment that my world crashed in loud, screaming silence all around me. I remember when my older brother, Ricky was accidentally shot and killed, while hunting.

Ricky was popular. The whole community was shaken by what happened; it affected all the schools and neighborhoods, because he was known and loved by so many people. So many lives were touched and changed forever by ONE LIFE. One person influenced the lives in the world around him just by living his own. Even now, when I return to my hometown for a visit, people recognize me because they knew Ricky.

We live our lives, but in doing that, we still affect others in ways that we never realize. Part of our purpose in life is to help others. This is what true positive mentoring entails. Through our own trials and tribulations, we bring hope, strength and opportunity for personal growth to others.

During the aftermath of Ricky's accidental death, it was at this point that Suffering waltzed back into my life, bringing with him Dreams . Suffering stuck around for a while and taught me about Dreams . I soon learned that Dreams and Suffering were inseparable. It is nearly impossible to have one without accompanying the other. They work as a team, one balancing out the other. Walk a path with Dreams long enough, and you will run into Suffering . Travel with Suffering long enough, and you will seek to find Dreams to help lighten the load of the pain introduced by Suffering .

As a young boy, dealing with the reality of losing Ricky, I found this last statement to be especially true for me. My parents went through much pain and personal heartache. My dad moaned himself to sleep, when he allowed himself sleep. I saw my mom walk through the house with tissue in her hands daily. I often heard them talking to each other about things late into the night, trying to deal with the reality of what had occurred. Even at that young age, I knew that I did not want to do anything to add to the pain of what they were going through. Therefore, I dealt with everything inside. Anything that I had on my plate, I dealt with, myself.

It was during this time that Suffering began to teach me about Dreams . I learned also to lean on and talk with God. I stayed much to myself, allowing Suffering to bring me his lessons about Dreams . I would listen to music and Dream would come and sit with me. He was always so big in comparison to me. Dream was always big, and he helped me to escape the pain of everything that I saw and heard daily.

I would sit with Dream for hours and I could see myself doing anything that I wanted. I learned to feel again while Dream was there. He introduced me to his best friend, Desire . Desire brought with her lessons on the importance of being able to feel Dream and smell Dream when Suffering came lurking around. In doing this, I learned that feeling and smelling Dream , the act of becoming so intensely in tune with Dream , while Suffering was around, made me hurt less and less.

I began to heal because of following Dream around. I learned more about Desire and was hungry to explore just how “big” Dream could grow. When he was around, I could create any world that I wanted to live in. I would escape to that world anytime I wanted. I could smell, taste, see and feel like never before. I could travel anywhere I wanted. I could do all things.

That is when I knew that I was different. I could sit in my room and lose time. I could sit and listen to music with Dream for hours and not know it.

Because of doing this, I expected things to be that way all the time. I expected that others could see and know Dream the way that I did. They didn't. Others did not know about how Dream was, and thought that he was small or did not exist at all. They always had something negative to say about him, saying that spending so much time with him was a waste of my time. However, I knew better.

Therefore, I had to do everything on my own. And boy was that painful. At home, I was told you could grow up to be and do what you want, and because I had spent so much time with Dream and Desire , I believed this. My teachers saw differently. They tried to put limits on me, telling me that Dream and Desire were unnecessary and that they knew what I could or could not be.

I could not handle that at all. So I went into a shell, spending more and more time with Dream and Desire . Learning why they were vital, learning why they are essential. As time progressed, all three of us grew larger. We grew up together.

In learning to deal with what happened with Ricky, I learned so much more about myself. Dream and Desire became a part of me and are with me to this day. I see less and less of Suffering . He comes around occasionally to let me know that he is still alive and well, but since I have spent my life with Dream and Desire , Suffering's presence doesn't bother me as much as it once did.

Because of this trio, and the positive parenting I received, I was able to develop the foundation for bigger things to come into my life. Ricky's death taught me the value of living a life that matters, with the time that we have been given. He mentored me in ways that I will always be grateful for: he lived his life as though it mattered, because it did matter.

The brevity of life proves the importance of how vital it is that we make a positive difference in the lives we meet. Our dates of birth and death are beyond our human control. However, we are stewards of the time that we are granted for the “—“ in between those dates. How will you spend yours? Who or what will you spend yours on? Your mind-set, determination, presence of positive mentors, and the capacity to have Dream and Desire in your life will decide what you see as being essential or expendable . Dream and Desire taught me that!